Chapter 6 - WHAT CLAIRE WANTED

Every instinct told me not to go.

So I didn’t.

I sent the messages to my lawyer.

Then to the officer assigned to the case.

Claire kept texting.

COME ON, DANIEL.

DON’T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER WROTE?

Then:

SHE LIES, YOU KNOW.

Then:

SHE GETS IT FROM YOU.

I turned my phone face down.

Megan was pacing.

“She wants you angry.”

“I know.”

“She wants you at that house yelling.”

“I know.”

“She wants to record you.”

“I know.”

“Then stop looking like you’re about to drive over there.”

I sat down.

That was when Lily walked in.

“What did she say?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Dad.”

I looked at her.

She held out her hand.

“Can I see?”

I hesitated.

That hesitation told her everything.

“She found it.”

I nodded.

Lily went pale.

“What else was in the notebook?”

“A lot.”

“Like what?”

“The rules. Days. Times.”

“Anything Claire could use against you?”

Lily thought.

“I wrote that I hated her.”

“That’s okay.”

“I wrote I wished she would disappear.”

“That’s okay too.”

“I wrote that maybe if I was better, she wouldn’t get mad.”

My eyes burned.

“Lily, listen to me.”

She looked at me.

“You were never responsible for keeping an adult from hurting you.”

“But sometimes I made her mad.”

“You are allowed to make people mad.”

“I yelled.”

“You’re allowed to yell.”

“I broke a plate.”

“You’re allowed to make mistakes.”

“She said—”

“I don’t care what she said.”

I caught myself.

Lowered my voice.

“I care what happened to you.”

Lily stared at me for a long moment.

Then she whispered, “There’s another copy.”

I blinked.

“What?”

She almost smiled.

“Not a whole copy.”

“Where?”

“School.”

The next morning, my lawyer and I met with Mrs. Avery, Lily’s counselor.

She looked uncomfortable before we even sat down.

“I should have called you months ago.”

My chest tightened.

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because Lily asked me not to.”

“She was eight.”

“I know.”

Mrs. Avery rubbed her forehead.

“She told me things were tense at home. But whenever I asked for details, she shut down. Then your wife came in.”

“Claire came here?”

“Several times.”

I leaned forward.

“Why?”

“She said Lily had developed a habit of exaggerating stories for attention.”

Of course she had.

“She told me there were marital problems,” Mrs. Avery continued. “She said you were angry. Controlling.”

My lawyer asked, “Did Lily ever directly accuse her father of harming her?”

Mrs. Avery shook her head.

“Never.”

My lungs finally worked again.

Then she opened a locked drawer.

Inside was a stack of folded papers.

Lily’s handwriting.

Dates.

Short sentences.

Mom turned off the camera.

Noah had 7 points.

Mom said Dad will leave.

Mom grabbed my arm hard.

Mom said smile before Dad comes in.

At the bottom of the stack was a drawing.

Our family.

Me.

Lily.

Noah.

Claire.

Three of us were inside a house.

Claire was outside.

But what made my skin crawl was the black box Lily had drawn in the basement.

I pointed.

“What is that?”

Mrs. Avery’s expression changed.

“I was hoping you could tell me.”

I couldn’t.

We didn’t have a black box in the basement.

At least, I didn’t think we did.

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