Chapter 13 - THE APOLOGY LILY DIDN’T OWE HIM
Daniel moved into a small apartment ten minutes away.
Claire didn’t file for divorce.
She didn’t promise she wouldn’t.
For the first time in their marriage, Daniel stopped asking her what he could say to fix things.
There was nothing to say.
He started doing things instead.
Therapy.
Parenting classes.
Meetings with Ryan’s social worker.
Every ugly conversation the court required.
He attended all of them.
Ryan barely spoke during the first therapy session.
In the second, he threw a plastic cup at the wall.
In the third, he screamed:
“I DON’T WANT ANOTHER DAD!”
Daniel sat quietly.
“Okay.”
Ryan glared at him.
“That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Fight me!”
“I’m not fighting you.”
“You hit me.”
Daniel’s face fell.
“Yes.”
“You slapped me.”
“Yes.”
“You hate me.”
“No.”
Ryan looked away.
Daniel’s voice softened.
“I was terrified because Lily was hurt. But I was the adult. I should not have hit you.”
Ryan didn’t answer.
“I’m sorry.”
The boy stared at him suspiciously.
“You’re saying that because the therapist is here.”
Daniel shook his head.
“I’ll say it when she leaves too.”
Weeks passed.
Lily’s stitches came out.
The cut became a thin pink line hidden beneath her hair.
But her fear didn’t disappear as quickly.
She started checking the front door three times before bed.
She refused to play near bricks.
Once, when a boy at the playground shouted behind her, she dropped to the ground and covered her head.
Claire held her afterward and cried where Lily couldn’t see.
Then one afternoon, Lily surprised her.
“Can I see Ryan?”
Claire froze.
“Why?”
“I want to ask him something.”
The therapist arranged a supervised meeting.
Ryan sat on one side of a small room.
Lily sat on the other.
Daniel and Claire stayed against the wall.
For nearly a minute, neither child spoke.
Then Lily asked:
“Did you really want me dead?”
Ryan’s face went white.
“No.”
“You hit me hard.”
“I know.”
“Why?”
Ryan looked down.
“Because I was mad at your dad.”
“That’s stupid.”
Daniel almost laughed, then caught himself.
Ryan nodded.
“Yeah.”
Lily studied him.
“My teacher says you can be mad and still not hurt people.”
“She’s right.”
Ryan rubbed his hands together.
“I thought your dad picked you because you were better.”
Lily frowned.
“Better than you?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s stupid too.”
Ryan almost smiled.
Then tears filled his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Lily.”
She stared at him.
“I don’t forgive you yet.”
Ryan nodded.
“Okay.”
“But you saved me from your uncle.”
He shrugged.
“I should’ve.”
Lily looked toward Claire.
Then back at Ryan.
“You can be sorry and I can still be mad?”
The therapist smiled slightly.
“Yes.”
Lily nodded.
“Okay.”
She stood.
Ryan looked confused.
She walked to the door.
Then stopped.
“Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“If you ever hit me again, I’m telling Mom.”
Ryan gave the smallest laugh.
“Deal.”
Lily left.
Ryan wiped his eyes.
Daniel looked at Claire.
For the first time in months, she looked back without anger.
Then Ms. Howard entered the room.
Her expression was serious.
“We need to talk about Ryan’s placement.”
Daniel stood.
“What happened?”
“His current foster family can’t keep him.”
Ryan stared at the floor.
May you like
Ms. Howard looked directly at Daniel.
“The court wants to know if you’re prepared to take your son.”
