Chapter 15 - A PLACE AT THE TABLE
“At the kitchen table,” Lily said. “Where you sit.”
Emily covered her mouth.
I pulled into a parking lot and let her cry.
Not every tear meant somebody had hurt us. We were still learning that.
The final custody arrangements gave Emily sole custody, with restrictions that kept Ryan from reaching Lily on his own terms. Future questions would be handled through the court and with attention to Lily's safety. His last name on her birth certificate was no longer a weapon he could point at us.
There was no magical check that fixed the company. Some money was recovered. Some was gone. Emily and Beth kept enough customers to reopen on a smaller scale, and I helped cover the first payroll gap.
Emily insisted on writing down what I loaned her.
“You don't have to pay me back.”
“James.”
“Okay.”
She needed to make her own promises again. I was learning not to confuse helping with taking over.
Rosa came to dinner whenever her shifts allowed. Lily gave her drawings without thanking her every time. Eventually, Rosa became someone who liked extra hot sauce and terrible game shows, instead of someone we were afraid we'd never thank enough.
Mom started with letters Emily could choose to read.
No excuses. No requests to forget. She sold her house, paid back what she could of Ryan's mortgage help, and moved into a small apartment.
It didn't buy forgiveness.
It did remove the leash she had used to explain her silence.
Months later, Emily agreed to meet her for coffee. Lily didn't attend. Repairing what our mother had broken was adult work, and my sister refused to put it in a child's hands.
On Lily's ninth birthday, we held a party in the backyard.
Paper plates. Crooked balloons. A cake Beth made herself because Lily wanted purple frosting that turned everyone's teeth blue.
Emily carried the candles outside with her cane hooked over one arm.
Lily jumped up to help, then stopped.
“Do you want me to?”
“Yes,” Emily said. “Thank you for asking.”
After the presents, Lily handed Emily a folded piece of paper.
“This one's for you.”
Inside was a drawing of our kitchen table. Every chair was filled.
At the bottom, in careful letters, she had written: NOBODY HAS TO BE GOOD TO STAY.
Emily read it twice.
“That's right, baby.”
Lily leaned against her.
“I have another wish. For next year.”
“You don't have to tell us yet.”
“I know.”
May you like
She smiled, guarding a secret that belonged only to her.
For once, we could wait to find out.
