Chapter 2 - FOUR DAYS
Thursday became a war of inches.
I measured success in tiny things.
Getting one baby fed before the other woke.
Taking a shower before noon.
Eating something that hadn’t come from a wrapper.
Making it twenty minutes without hearing somebody cry.
At 10:30, June threw up almost an entire bottle across my shirt.
At 10:34, Sadie had a diaper blowout.
At 11:10, I called Brandon’s mother.
Linda answered cheerfully.
“Audrey! How are my girls?”
“Your girls are destroying me.”
She laughed.
“I remember those days.”
“I was actually calling to ask if you could come over for a few hours.”
Silence.
“Oh.”
Just that.
Oh.
“I really need a nap, Linda.”
“I’d love to, sweetheart, but I have lunch with Carol.”
I looked at the clock.
“Could you come afterward?”
“Well, then there’s book club.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Let me check.”
I heard papers moving.
Then she sighed.
“Tomorrow’s difficult.”
I looked down at June sleeping against my chest.
“Okay.”
“You’re young. You’ll survive.”
That was apparently the family motto.
I thanked her and hung up.
At noon, Brandon sent a picture.
Four men standing beside a rental SUV.
All smiling.
All holding beers.
We made it. Cabin is insane.
I typed:
Glad somebody slept last night.
Then deleted it.
Instead:
Have fun.
He hearted the message.
That somehow made it worse.
At 2:00, both girls finally fell asleep.
I crawled onto the couch.
My head touched the cushion.
June screamed.
I actually laughed.
Not a happy laugh.
The kind that comes when your brain is too tired to decide whether you’re supposed to cry.
By dinner, my hands were shaking.
I heated frozen pasta while bouncing Sadie against my hip.
My phone rang.
Brandon.
He was outdoors.
Water behind him.
Music somewhere nearby.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hi.”
“How’s everything?”
June screamed from her swing.
He laughed.
“Sounds fun.”
Something in my chest tightened.
“Yeah. Hilarious.”
“You okay?”
“No.”
He paused.
I waited.
“Like… no-no?”
“What does that mean?”
“I mean, do you need something?”
“Yes.”
“What?”
“You.”
There was another pause.
Longer.
Then someone yelled his name.
Brandon turned away from the phone.
“Coming!”
I heard men laughing.
Then he came back.
“Listen, I’ve got to go. We have a tee time tomorrow morning.”
“Brandon.”
“What?”
“I asked you not to leave.”
“Audrey, please don’t do this all weekend.”
“Do what?”
“Make me feel guilty for being here.”
I stared at the wall.
“You mean make you remember you have a family?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“No. It’s just what you meant.”
He exhaled.
“I’ll call tomorrow.”
The line went dead.
I stood there with Sadie against my shoulder.
Then I heard a wet choking sound.
I looked down.
She was fine.
June wasn’t.
Her tiny body jerked inside the swing.
May you like
Milk bubbled from her mouth.
And suddenly she couldn’t seem to breathe.
