Chapter 11 - The Last Toast
I didn’t confront my mother about the spreadsheet that night.
That surprised everyone.
Including me.
I forwarded it to myself, put my phone in Nora’s purse, and went to the reception.
Dinner had started.
People were talking in careful voices, waiting to see which version of the evening they were supposed to participate in.
I picked up a fork.
Ethan looked at me.
“Hungry?”
“Starving.”
He smiled.
We ate.
The chicken was a little dry. The potatoes were excellent. Somebody had put too much lemon in the dressing.
It was such an ordinary meal after such an extraordinary disaster that I almost laughed.
Then the band started.
Ethan held out his hand.
“Dance with me.”
“What if I step on you?”
“I’ve seen you do worse today.”
I laughed for real.
We moved onto the floor.
The satin slid around my legs.
I could breathe.
Over his shoulder, I saw my mother watching us.
For once, she looked like a guest.
Not the director of the room.
Halfway through dinner, Uncle Mark gave a short toast.
He talked about my father teaching me to drive, about how I had once backed into a hedge and blamed the hedge.
Then he lifted his glass.
“To Olivia and Ethan. May your home be a place where nobody has to rehearse before speaking.”
I looked down until I could trust my face.
A little later, I saw my mother approach the bandleader.
She was reaching for the microphone.
Lena moved first.
So did I.
“Mom.”
Diane turned.
“I only want to say a few words.”
“We agreed.”
“I’m your mother.”
“I know.”
“People think I’m a monster.”
“This isn’t the place to make me fix that.”
Her eyes filled, and for a second my body remembered every old instruction.
Comfort her.
Smooth it over.
Let her have this.
I kept my hands at my sides.
“Please step away from the microphone.”
She looked around.
The nearest tables had gone quiet.
Then she put it down.
“I hope he’s worth losing your family.”
Ethan had come up behind me.
I didn’t turn toward him.
“I’m not choosing between him and my family,” I said. “I’m choosing what you’re allowed to do to me.”
She left before dessert.
I cried in the service hallway for four minutes.
Then I washed my face and cut the cake.
Later, in our room, Ethan found an envelope under the door.
May you like
Inside was a note from my mother.
We need to settle what you owe.
